SHIFTING THE WAY

Eight publication in the Change Acceleration series

Shift your way of thinking about emotions; three steps in transforming them during every day experience.

Food that is eaten needs to be processed. Part that is healthy is absorbed. What is not healthy gets transformed and expelled from your body. The same is true about your emotions. Only through experiencing (processing) them fully, pure energy is absorbed from emotions and the rest is transformed and expelled. We were taught throughout our lives that emotions are bad and we need to escape them. That is the biggest mistake in human evolution. It is like taking the food in and keeping it in your belly forever, believing that you will stay healthy. Not experienced emotions are repressed and accumulated in body tissues; causing muscle tension, pain and various forms of sicknesses, including mental health issues. In order to be really free you need to shift your thinking about emotions and learn to be with them.

All emotion that emerges in you, no matter how intensive they are, have the beginning and the end. You job is to learn to be with them and feel them. Do not reject your emotions when they pops up. Just stop yourself, sit for a moment and observe them. Like if you were observing a hot water in a pot, waiting till it gets cooler. At the beginning you will be able to observe your emotions for few second only. It is normal. Do not discourage yourself. Next time you try, there will be a space in you for 15 seconds, 30 seconds or few minutes. Finally when you practice often enough, you will find yourself able to be with any emotion and emotions of most people in the room; staying peaceful, joyful and happy for long, long time. That is a meaning of true emotional freedom. It is not lack of emotions. It is an ability to be in their presence; not letting them take control over your choices.

1) Notice your Reaction and Stop yourself. When you meet with your team you can practice not to react automatically. Stop when you catch yourself commenting or correcting others. Never too late to stop preaching. Observe the emotion that triggers your reaction. Act only at the moment you feel more peaceful. When you ask question and your team sits quiet; waiting for your reaction or answer, wait as well, till somebody else opens up and takes initiative. You will build more engagement that way. If you see that there is a conflict between two people, stop yourself from fixing it immediately. Try to observe the conflict. Feel your emotions and wait few minutes, till the moment people realize it is their conflict and they need to bear with the burden. If it is not solved by them within a reasonable time you can still help the situation.

2) Learn not to react. Learn to let your team members feel the pressure of their own emotions. If somebody reacts disrespectfully, unproductively, name the reaction in one sentence and wait. Observe emotions and give that person an opportunity to take the burden on his/her shoulders. Emotions when processed by the owner gives him/her a chance to learn and grow. When people do not deliver what is expected, name your disappointment in two sentences at most, and let them feel tension. Do not talk too much. When you talk people relax. When you got quiet the tension in the room triggers people to think and take ownership.

When somebody makes you irritated on the street, try to not react as well. Observe yourself and notice emotions. You will see that with time, less and less people will be able to impact your peacefulness and your freedom. The most difficult training is with people you know very well; in particular with your family. The level of accumulated emotions in close relationships is huge and difficult to bear. So start practicing with strangers. When you get more proficiency you can approach your family members; in exactly the same way.

3) Do not escape into thinking. One important step in reaching a freedom is not to react, the other one is not to escape into thinking. Whenever you feel strong emotion breathe and try not to think. Focus on the emotion or feelings inside. Ask yourself a question: "what do I feel in my body right now?". Asking that question will help you refocus your attention from your mind, to your body sensations, emotions or feelings. With every practice, small part of accumulated emotions will be transformed. The space for Yourself will be bigger. The garbage of accumulated emotions smaller.

As a result of using those three steps often, you will have more energy to live and work. There will be no question if what you do is right or wrong, as your actions will be coming from Yourself not from your accumulated emotions. You will feel what is right immediately. The level of respect and trust towards yourself will be bigger. You will become more open for new opportunities; having better understanding of yourself and your purpose. Your leadership interventions will be more "to the point", more effective and more transformative.

What is your choice? Are you willing to invest time to your personal growth, letting Yourself flourish as a leader and as a human? Or you prefer to continue you life as it is, because you are happy, you have read the text, it is a kind of inspiration for you?

Neither of those two choices is good or bad. Start investing into yourself only when you will truelly feel motivation from inside. Do not let others push you in any direction; including me. That is my final recommendation for You; the most important one: Trust Yourself and always choose Yourself.