THE WHY METHOD

First publication in the Change Acceleration series

From the very beginning of my life; 42 years ago, I wanted to be free. I wanted others to accept who I am and let me live my life. Desire for freedom was evident, even though I was not able to name it that way. Unfortunately there was Something that hindered that freedom. Parents, schools, people around always had other things to say, better ways to do. They unwanted influences put more garbage on top of Myself. I grew up into a person who constantly fights against limitations; rejecting them, going above them or pushing far away from me.

20 years ago, while I was studying a computer science, I took a job. Few months later I became a leader. My unnatural responsibility for everything, internal pressure, and wish to be free, to do what I really want to do, made me a good candidate. I had finally a space to prove myself, to show up, to have an impact and to grow, to do things in my way; so that others will notice.

I knew that I am responsible for results of the work of my team, but I did not realized that when I took a leadership role I took responsibility not only for results, but for peoples' attitudes, their way of working and Something more. People started influencing me, impacting my choices and limiting my freedom without my awareness of it.

To deal with life and all its pressure I had to invest more energy, more time, dedicate myself fully to the job and the role. I had to be an example in driving objectives and visions forward; for my teams. Untill the moment the life said "stop and take care of yourself". It was neither a tiredness, nor an overthinking and anxiety, neither a sickness (alergy, overweight, back pain, picks on my heart scan), not even material or personal losses. None of those triggered a true change in me, although I have faced them all.

Only when I was send by my company to Switzerland for an executive leadership development center, at the exact moment my boss told me I was labeled "a prosecutor" by psychologists and my career is under a question mark, I started considering a shift of my focus. It was like a destruction of Myself, to my understanding; at that moment. Extremely good business results which I achieved with my team have lost their positive impact on my selfesteem under new circumstances. The level of stress, shame, guilt and fear from being judged so harshly was so high, that I asked my boss to have an executive coach. l shifted my focus from external development (studying management) to internal growth (studying myself and seeing how it impacts my leadership). I started looking inside at who I am, why I am here in this world, what I really want to do and why, what happens in me; inside of myself, and how it impacts others.

It was 14 years ago; my internal growth journey started and I am still on the path. I call it a Path to Emotional Freedom and want to share it with you. Although I wrote the text for leaders; the approach can be used by any person who wants to be emotionally free at his or her work, in life; pursuing individual visions, aspirations and dreams. For leaders especially; as the pressure and burden that lands on our shoulders is huge; often unnoticed and misjudged.

Our leadership impact, business effectiveness, personal influence and our happiness depends strongly on whether we are driven by Something else or we drive our visions, lead our teams and choose our actions freely from the place of being Ourselves. It is our individual choice whether we decide to grow internally and get closer to Ourselves, living our lives joyfully or we stay in a comfort zone chasing external successes and fulfilling "emotional wants".